Spotify DJ is a thing! Did you know that? Essentially, Spotify has developed ‘X’ your own personal AI DJ, who plays music from your library, as well as introduce you to new music he thinks you’ll like based on your past plays. Unfortunately, when your played music includes that of Christian Lullabies, your suggested music is, well, random to say the least (I have since learned how to exclude music from my preferences, so as to avoid random mixes in future). Anyway, recently, ‘X’ reminded me of a song I hadn’t heard in a while by Justin Timberlake featuring Chris Stapleton called ‘Say Something.’ It’s a great song, you can check it out here! As part of the bridge of the song, they repeatedly sing a refrain which has really stuck with me (and my 8 year old daughter!): ‘Sometimes the greatest way to say something, is to say nothing at all!’
How can saying nothing be the greatest way to say something?
That was the question my 8 year old posed to me. It was… no, it is such a good question. How can silence be better at communicating anything compared to using actual words??? I fumbled my way through an answer, which made sense to both her and I, but it left me thinking, and reflecting… and eventually realising that I had recently experienced the perfect example (though too big perhaps to use for my daughter). Now, there is much detail of this I can’t (and if I am honest, don’t want to) give, but here we go. About 6 weeks ago, I wrote to someone detailing all sorts of hurt, disappointment, concern, anger and overall upset about how things were. I had a fear that my simple written words would get misunderstood, misinterpreted and that the tone which was intended would be lost. Therefore, alongside the written message, went a video of me reading the message (this may all seem like a bit of overkill, but it may give you a bit of insight as to how my brain works). ‘Not saying anything’ didn’t really feel like an option in putting that letter/video together (though, in actual fact, there is always a choice, right?). However ‘not saying anything’ has very quickly become a main feature of this interaction. You see, in the 6 weeks that have passed, I have had no response from the person. Well, that’s not entirely true. I had a brief note explaining that the person would take some times to read and re-read my note, and respond accordingly. And that was it… nothing more. Their silence, their ‘saying nothing at all’ has spoken volumes. I might even say it has resulted in a much more powerful message than anything they could have said or written. In this case, the message is a sad one it has to be said, but it did come in a powerful way. That’s the thing about silence, when used over saying something, it speaks with power!
Silence can be so powerful! Now, please don’t misunderstand me! There are most definitely times when saying something is not only the better option, but the best option, the one of justice, the one that brings with it change. Sometimes saying something speaks with power as well: speaking out against injustice is powerful; speaking up when no one else will is powerful. There is a place and time for saying something. However, in a society when we have been taught and dare I say groomed to believe that our personal words, opinions and views have to be shared, and that ultimately our personal words and views are more important than anyone else’s, silence can truly make an impact. We have become uncomfortable with silence and shy away from it, when in fact it’s an important part of communication. Sometimes, there are situations in our own lives in which choosing to be silent is the best way forward. As an over simplistic example, when my wife is proven right, her silence makes it more powerful a ‘win’ as opposed to her gloating about it. When the attacks come and your button’s are pushed, sometimes the best and most powerful response is silence. But silence isn’t only a good response in the realms of confrontation. Sometimes silence communicates an answer to us, that perhaps we’ve been missing.
In faith circles, I have often heard people say that God isn’t hearing our prayers, because He hasn’t answered them. We are expectant of our prayers being answered (sometimes at least, but that’s another conversation), yet we don’t often expect silence to be the answer. What if God has chosen to answer our prayers with silence? What if it is more powerful and more poignant to answer in silence. Even Jesus at times, answers a question, without answering. When Lazarus dies, and his sisters ask Jesus why he didn’t come sooner. He doesn’t answer. There is silence. In fact, he weeps. But there is silence. His silence speaks with more power and weight than anything he could have said in that moment.
I wonder what times in your life you have received silence as opposed to any other form of response. Was it a good silence, or a bad one? Was it painful, or freeing? Have you ever been faced with a situation in which you could says something or say nothing at all? Have you ever chosen silence? I for one have always found that silence is more challenging to answer with, however, I am learning that sometimes, the greatest way to say something, is to say nothing at all!
Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash
Simple Faith 